Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.

You are so tall you sell dagamuffins in heaven

Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people -- you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!

Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.

"Don't you need a license to be that ugly?" - Anon

Yo mama mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.

Yo momma's so fat all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Momma"

Yo mama hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.

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More Funny Insults:


He's got that far away look. The farther he gets, the better he looks.


you only have to brain cells 1z lost the others looking for it


Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her


All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could.


You say that you are always bright and early. Well, OK!! We know you are early.


Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them.


"Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up"- Oscar Wilde


Yo momma so ugly she made the sun get a sun burn


Yo mama has a bald head with a part and sideburns.


Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?