Funny Insults * 10 Funny Insults

"She tells enough white lies to ice a cake" - Dorothy Parker

All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could.

"She has an insipid double chin, her legs are too short, and she has a slight potbelly."- Richard Burton talking about Elizabeth Taylor

Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.

Yo mama house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

"I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along." - Groucho Marx

We know you could not live without us. We'll pay for the funeral.

"A fellow with the inventiveness of Albert Einstein but with the attention span of Daffy Duck."- Tom Shales talking about Robin Williams

Converse with any plankton lately?

Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

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More Funny Insults:


There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it.


You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.


Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too


your funny dude your deformed


People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!


You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along.


Yo momma's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!


Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!


Yo momma's so fat when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please


I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.



One-Liner Top 5:

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!




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