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Funny Insults

You're so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone.
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She's so ugly they used to put a pot roast in her lap so the dog would play with her.
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You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.
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What happened? Did you get dressed in the dark?
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People say that you are outspoken but not by anyone that I know of.
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Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
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"If he became convinced tomorrow that coming out for cannibalism would get him the votes he surely needs, he would begin fattening a missionary in the White House backyard come Wednesday." - H. L. Mencken talking about Franklin D. Roosevelt
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I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
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It's your life -- but I wish you'd let us have it.
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I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
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More Funny Insults:


There is no vaccine against stupidity.

Yo mama's so stupid she thought turkeys could fly.

Can I borrow your face for a few days while my ass is on vacation?

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.

you smell like the splashboard of an indian urinal during mango season

Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read

Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Yo momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!