Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

Hey, act your age -- senile!

I think you should live for the moment. But after that, I doubt I'll think so.

Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Before you came along, we were hungry. Now we're just fed up.

Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.

They say that travel broadens oneself. You must have been around the world.

It's your life -- but I wish you'd let us have it.

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More Funny Insults:


Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!


Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone


yo mamas so fat when she walked past the TV i missed 3 episodes


I'd slap you senseless ... but I can't spare three seconds!


You are so dumb you sit on the TV and watch the sofa.


I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.


Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"


"Some women are BLONDE on their Mother's side, some from their Father's side - she is from Peroxide."- Anon


I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.


"When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in." - Bob Hope talking about Jack Benny





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.