Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

"Apart from cheese and tulips, the main product of Holland is advocaat, a drink made from lawyers."- Alan Coren

"When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in." - Bob Hope talking about Jack Benny

Yo momma's so stupid when she saw the "NC-17" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

"Brassy, brazen witch on a mortgaged broomstick, a steamroller with cleats." - Walter Kerr on Ethel Merman

They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.

I hear you are an officer. Your rank is - just plain rank!

Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave good-bye.

I hear you are connected to the Police Department -- by a pair of handcuffs.

Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!

your moms so fat when she jumped for joy, she got stuck.

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More Funny Insults:


"She tells enough white lies to ice a cake" - Dorothy Parker


He can open his mail with that nose!


yo mamma so ugly she forced vultures to drink thier urine


Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please


yo mama so fat that when she sat on an ipod it turned into an ipad!


I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?


Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!


He can think without moving his lips!


Yours is a prima facie case of ugliness. And your body is ugly too.


Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa.
Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?