Funny Texts | 10 Funny Insults

Yo momma's so fat her picture takes two frames.

Yo momma's so stupid when she saw the "NC-17" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.

Yours is a prima facie case of ugliness. And your body is ugly, too.

Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.

Yo mama so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!

yo mama so ugly that when she entered a beauty contest but it was actually an ugly contest the worker there said no proffesionals allowed.

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More Funny Insults:


I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.


You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one lifetime.


Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.


Yo mama so dirty she makes mud look clean.


"What makes him think a middle aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?" - Ronald Reagan commenting on Eastwood's bid to become mayor of Carmel


"He's nothing more than a well meaning baboon"- General McCellan on Abraham Lincoln


You're so mean that whenever you make a compliment, the people around you take it as an insult.


Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic.


I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.


your mums so fat she stood on the scales and it said i asked for ur weight not ur fone number





One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.