Funny Texts | 10 Funny Texts Riddles

A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?

Answer!

Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?

Answer!

Trying to hold on to a thought.
Why did the blonde bake a chicken for 3-1/2 days?

Answer!

It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125 lbs.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?

Answer!

Wave to her.
What do lawyers and bullfrogs have in common?

Answer!

Both have a big head that consists mostly of mouth.
Why did the cat join the Red Cross?

Answer!

Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit.
How do you know when you are old?

Answer!

When you can date someone half your age without breaking the law.
What is black and white and red all over?

Answer!

A panda bear with a sunburn!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Answer!

Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels!
What bird is with you at every meal?

Answer!

A swallow!
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More Funny Texts Riddles:


Has anyone seen Quasimodo?


Answer!

I have a hunch he is back!

Two silk worms were in a race. Who won?


Answer!

It was a tie!

How do you plant dope?


Answer!

Bury a blonde.

Who stole the soap?


Answer!

The robber ducky!

How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?


Answer!

A Unhoppy!

Why was the baby ant confused?


Answer!

Because all of his uncles were ants!

What do you call eight blondes in a freezer?


Answer!

Frosted flakes.

What to polar bears eat for lunch?


Answer!

Ice berg-ers!

What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?


Answer!

Mouse code!

What birds are found in Portugal?


Answer!

Portu-geese!



One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!