|
|
| w w w . 4 f u n n i e s . c o m |
|
New!
Here you will find many Funny Jokes, more than 4000!
The jokes with the best votes are on top of the list.
You also can vote for a joke, to vote click on the little smiley at the right of the joke.
 :
means funny! and  : means not funny
|
 Do you want to receive a new joke every day by e-mail?
Add your e-mail address to the jokes e-mail list!
More than 3000 people have subscibed to the list!
|
|
|
Jokes with the best votes:
One day a guy goes to his doctor and says, "Doc I have these real bad headaches. What should I do?" The doctor replies, "Well, to get rid of my headaches I just have sex with my wife." They both laugh. A week later the patient returns. The doctor asks, "How are you feeling?"
The patient smiles and replies" You were right! I feel so much better. And, by the way, Doc, you have a lovely home."
Send this joke to a friend! > |
rate this jokes:
|
What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal when they were eating a clown? "Does this taste funny to you?"
Send this joke to a friend! > |
rate this jokes:
|
Question: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
Answer: Depends on how thin you slice them.
Send this joke to a friend! > |
rate this jokes:
|
Ya momma so fat one day she had ona pair of tight yellow britches she bent over to pick up a quarter. 3 guys got in. thought it was a yellow cab.
Send this joke to a friend! > |
rate this jokes:
|
|
Last added:
| A vaccumm salesman walks to a house and knocks on the door. As soon as a lady answers the door, the man throws cow dung all over the carpet. He then says, "If this vaccum does not clean it completely and perform miracles, then I myself will eat the patties."
There is a long pause....
The lady half laughing asks, "Do you want a ketchup or mustard on that?"
Puzzled the man asks, "What? Why?"
She says, laughing, "We just moved in and our electricity is not turn on yet." |
|
| A modest man is in the hospital for a series of tests. One of the last tests has left his system upset. Upon making several false alarms to the bathroom he decided the latest was another and stayed put. He then filled his bed with human waste and was embarrassed beyond anything he could possibly face.
Losing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cussing, and swinging his arms wildly which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a security guard who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the hell was that all about?" Still staring down, the drunk replied, "I just beat the crap out of a ghost!" |
|
| Two Texans were seated at the end of a bar when a gorgeous young lady sits down at the other end and orders a martini. Stunned by her beauty,the two guys stare at her for awhile, debating whether to approach her, when all of a sudden, she begins to cough, clutching her throat, and begin to turn blue. (obviously in serious respiratory distress)
One said to the other, "That gal is having a bad time!" The other agreed and said, "Do you think we should go help?" "You bet!" said the first, and with that he ran over and said, "Can you speak?" She shook her head no. He then asked, "Can you breath?" She again shook her head no. With that, he pulled up her skirt, pulled down her panties and licked her on the butt. She was so shocked by the act, she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with embarrassed relief. At which point, the first Texan looked at his friend and exclaimed, I guess that hind lick maneuver really does work!" |
|
| A Jewish father was concerned about his son who was about a year away from his Bar Mitzvah but was sorely lacking in his knowledge of the Jewish faith.
To remedy this he sent his son to Israel to experience his heritage. A year later the young man returned home. "Father, thank you for sending me to the land of our Fathers, " the son said. "It was wonderful and enlightening, however, I must confess that while in Israel I converted to Christianity." "Oi vey," replied the father, "what have I done?"
So in the tradition of the patriarchs he went to his best friend and sought his advice and solace. "It is amazing that you should come to me," stated his friend, "I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian."
So in the traditions of the Patriarchs they went to the Rabbi. "It is amazing that you should come to me," stated the Rabbi, "I too sent my son to Israel and he returned a Christian. What is happening to our sons?" Brothers, we must take this to God," said the Rabbi. They fell to their knees and began to wail and pour out their hearts to the Almighty.
As they prayed the clouds above opened and a mighty voice stated, "Amazing that you should come to Me. I, too, sent My Son to Israel." |
|
Do you have a funny joke?
Send it to us! |
|
|
|
|
We like to know what you think about the contents of this page, so we can place the content you find the best and funniest.
Are there errors on a page, or is something not right, or is something just very funny? Let us know all reactions are welcome!
|
|
|
|
4funnies.com poll
What's your favorite color?
|
|
|
|
4funnies.com banners
Search the Funny Jokes & Texts:
