Funny Pictures
Funny Texts
Jokes
Funny Apps

Startpage
Bookmark and Share
Hopper games Funny Texts Funny Pictures Funny Pictures With Captions Optical Illusions Funny Jokes Funny Riddles Online Games What Kind Of Day Love Tester What Animal Are You? Emoticons & Avatars Sms Texts Funny Insults Funny! or Not? Weird Maker Free Emoticons Free Avatars Chat Names Dress Up Game Glitter Pictures Glitter Texts Links Page

Custom Search

Funny Jokes & Texts


Sherlock Holmes and Matthew Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see? "Well, I see thousands of stars." "And what does that mean to you?" "Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?" "To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

Rate this joke: funny!not funny


New!
Here you will find many Funny Jokes, more than 4000!

The best rated jokes on top of the list.
Rate a joke click on the smiley at the right of the joke.

: means funny! and : means not funny



Funniest jokes:

Trump: "Foreign Policy? If you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee!"
rate:

Funny Joke!Not Funny Joke

Who were Jenna and Barbara Bush with when they got caught by the police? Their uncle Anheuser!
rate:

Funny Joke!Not Funny Joke

Funny Celebrity Baby Names Erykah Badu and Andre Benjamin- Seven Sirius (BOY) David and Angela Bowie- Duncan Zowie Heywood Jones (BOY) Nicholas Cage and Alice Kim- Kal-el(BOY) Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes- Suri(GIRL) Courtney Cox and David Arquette- Coco Riley(GIRL) Bob Geldof and Paula Yates- Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Little Pixie(ALL 3 GIRLS) Penn and Emily Jilette- Moxie Crimefighter(GIRL) Frank and Gail Zappa- Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan(BOYS) Moon Unit, Diva Muffin (GIRLS) Michael Jackson and Debbie Rowe- Paris(GIRL), Prince Jackson, and Prince II [AKA Blanket] (BOYS)
rate:

Funny Joke!Not Funny Joke

One day two kids were wandering around near a stream. One of the boys wandered off near a bush and the other wandered farther down stream. The boy who was wandering down stream started to get lonely, so he went to find his other friend. When he got to the bush were his friend was he saw a naked woman and ran away. The boy that was here for a long time got curios and ran after him and asked, "Why did you run away." The other boy said, "My mom said that if I were to ever see a naked woman I would turn to stone. Then I felt something get very hard so I ran."
rate:

Funny Joke!Not Funny Joke

How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? Depends on how thin you slice them!
rate:

Funny Joke!Not Funny Joke


next 5 jokes >




Last added:
A recent poll came out that shows the approval rating for President Donald Trump has fallen to a historical all-time low of 33%. In response, Trump said, "You hear that? Historic! I'm in the history books! I did it!" deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Some videos of racially insensitive Halloween costumes went viral today. Then people realized they were just watching footage of a Washington Redskins game. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

In Wisconsin, a child's trick-or-treat bag was found to contain meth. On the plus side, the kid did manage to hit 19 houses in under two minutes. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Itís come out that this year, indicted Trump advisor Paul Manafort traveled to Mexico using a fake name. Then again, if you worked for Trump and you were in Mexico, would YOU use your real name? deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Virgin CEO Richard Branson is launching a cruise line that is "adults only." After hearing about it, Kevin Spacey said, "Not interested." deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Meanwhile, Republican leaders unveiled the new tax plan. It is over 400 pages long. And experts are still analyzing it. Apparently the plan would cut the number of tax brackets for individuals down to three. It would be 35%, 25%, and 12%. Which coincidentally also matches the trajectory of Trumpís approval ratings. Weird coincidence. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

Amazon has unveiled a new way to view its products in 3-D. Amazon is calling its new invention "a store." deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

A gambler won $14 million on last night's World Series game. Here's what's suspicious - turns out it was some guy named Yu Darvish. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

President Trump tweeted congratulations to the Houston Astros for winning the World Series. Trump said heís so happy for the Astros, heís only going to deport some of the players. deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.

The Republican tax plan came out today and President Trump announced that it will bring trillions of dollars to the U.S. He then said, "Specifically, to three members of my Cabinet." deze is heel leuk!deze is niet leuk.


Do you have a funny joke?
Send it to us!

Your joke:






One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.
Funny Pictures
Sms Texts
Funny Texts
Funny Jokes
Funny Riddles
Illusions
Love Tester
What Animal Are