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What is the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
More Funny Riddles
new Funny Insults
There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it!
More Funny Insults
Funny SMS Texts & Messages
What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."
More Funny SMS Texts & Messages
More Funny texts!
Actual writings on hospital charts:
1. she has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband
states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for
over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third
day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also
appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me
in 1993 ... More actual writings on hospital charts
Said in court
50 fun things to do in the elevator:
1. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"
More 50 fun things to do in the elevator
Arkansaw drivers license application
Men v.s. Woman: 8:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses
The perfect day for her:
8:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants ...
More Men vs Woman
Bar phrases and translations
Bumper sticker sayings
The perfect employee
The Shit List!
You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.
Teflon coated shit Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it! ...
Read the The Shit List
Wisdom and questions
22 things not to say to a cop
63 ways to piss off a cop
Make your room mate crazy
Things to say to telemarketeers
Things you wouldn't know without movies
I want my pictures back
The tree stars
Things in football that sound dirty - but aren't
Reasons for making/ not making love
Three little ducks
Whom you should marry
Four catholic woman
Little Johnny and Mom Dad
Water the bushes
Wich one is married
Another dumb blonde
Gravity defying tequila
Blind man and blonde
Reason for asking
Little Johnny and little Margaret
Bill Gates in Hell
Top ten lists:
TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR FAMILY IS STRESSED ...
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium ...
More of the Top ten lists
1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?
3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
More Stupid questions
A girls first time
Kiss without touching lips
A helping hand
Unzip the skirt
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very very nice.. I"m putting it on my favorites list
You Guys R ... um
I dunno what U r but..
.... ** GREAT **
Hahaha Funny as owt
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