One-Liner Top 5:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
Do you wanna see a magic trick? Watch me pull something out of my pants!
People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.
If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.