One-liners * 10 One-Liners

Here you will find more than 4000 One-Liners!

Nostalgia: How long's that been around?

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough, use an ashtray.

Friends wave red flags when you have a bad idea. Real friends pick up a camera.

My superpower is making people laugh. Which would be great if I was trying to be funny.

Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode - really...

A procrastinator's work is never done.

I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart ". Does that mean Iron Man is the most beautiful person on earth?

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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More One-Liners:


I asked Barack Obama if we could get together later, and he said Yes We Can!


I've been thinking about you...Owl night long.


And on the sixth day, God created man first so that he could enjoy a few minutes on Earth without saying the wrong thing to a woman.


A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.


I'm experiencing heavy call volumes. Please hang up and never call me again.


The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don't have.


I'm pretty sober, but I'm prettier drunk.


Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time.


I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.


They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.