One-liners * 10 One-Liners

Here you will find more than 4000 One-Liners!

What did the light bulb say to the switch? "You turn me on."

Men should be like coffee: strong, hot and not letting you sleep for the whole night. However, most of them are like copy machines: suitable only for reproduction.

Marriage isn't for everybody - men for instance!

I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again.

You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

I once hit a bat with a bat.

Every day two million Americans play tennis and one million of them lose.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems.

1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

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More One-Liners:


Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental!


My doctor said he thought I had the body of a 25 year old. So naturally I had to kill him and bury him next to it.


When there are no volunteers, they get appointed.


It's bad luck to be superstitious.


I hate girls that complain about being single every 3 minutes. 90% of my socks are single & you don't see them crying about it.


Accidentally pooped my pants in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level.


How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.


When I was young I did stupid things because I didn't know any better. Now I know better and do stupid things because I miss being young.


I've always considered myself more of a lover than a fighter. Which has confused a lot of guys that have tried to start fights with me. They'll raise their fists, I'll whip my knob out.


Why is a bra singular and panties plural?