One-liners * 10 One-Liners

Here you will find more than 4000 One-Liners!

What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!

I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.

Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

I would make a joke about Shrek, but they are too ogre-used.

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

What did one autumn leaf say to another? I'm falling for you.

What do you call a dead Magician? A ABRACADAVA.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

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More One-Liners:


Occasionally, a true friend gives his paw not his hand...


What's the difference between a hooker and a woman with a cold? A woman with a cold blows her nose...


All I'm saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old?


Do you know the difference between "fitting" and "proper"? It goes like this: I could shove my thumb up your butt right now, and it would probably fit... But it wouldn't be proper.


What happens when you fall in love with a french chef? You get buttered up.


I've got my ion you, baby!


Oh my god, mega drama the other day: My dishwasher stopped working! Yup, his visa expired.


Are you a shark, cause I got some swimmers for you to swallow.


If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.


Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..