One-liners * 10 One-Liners

Here you will find more than 4000 One-Liners!

I went to a seafood diner last night. I pulled a mussell.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can help you look for it quicker, in a convertible.

Red sky at night, shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night, day.

I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day long.

When they start getting the 5-day forecast right then maybe I'll listen to their climate change theories.

You shouldn't come back, because later you'll still want to leave.

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

I have no business with you, unless behind the bushes.

Why women never fart when your dating? They don't have an ass hole till after they are married.

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks

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More One-Liners:


The early bird gets the worm but the late worm gets to live.


I may not be Dairy Queen, baby, but I'll treat you right!


How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.


What are you going to be on Halloween? You'll probably be a vegan menu.


"Why don't you trust me?", she texted both the guys simultaneously.


If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus? This Guy is a goldmine.


I love Snapchat. I could talk about classic card games all day.


I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.


What did one autumn leaf say to another? I'm falling for you.


If my puns are cheesy, then they would go well with crackers.