One-liners * 10 One-Liners

Here you will find more than 4000 One-Liners!

Did you hear about the guy who choked on a pretzel? He was very salty.

Can't wait to start my New Years resolution in 2018!

I don't know why people troll about China. Last year I bought a watch made in China it still shows me correct time when I bought it.

Like a flat tire.......how I'm rolling this morning.

How do you keep a Jew out of a canoe? With chips.

Loneliness is when you get an e-mail but it's from the newsgroup server.

Why is Justing Bieber like a shotgun? Give him a cock and he will blow!

The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.

Did you hear they banned fans from doing "The Wave" at all sports events? Too many blondes were drowning.

I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.

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More One-Liners:


On the other hand, you have different fingers.


You know youre fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.


Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?


Any skirt looks good on the back of the chair.


I think a lot of the conflict that happened in the Wild West could've been avoided had architects in those days just made their towns big enough for everyone.


Why is a baseball game a good place to go on a hot day? Because there are lots of fans.


Want to dance? Or should I go to hell again?


Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.


Without ME, it's just AWESO.


Getting a red heart instead of a yellow star makes me feel like things are moving a little too fast between us.