One-liners * 10 One-Liners

Here you will find more than 4000 One-Liners!

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.

I know that there are people who don't love their fellow man - I hate those people.

A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, I thought "That's a turtle disaster".

What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a 1.75, but deer nut are under a buck.

How did I escape Iraq? Iran.

Statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarfs are not Happy.

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny.

Don't steal. That's the government's job.

I always knew that I could never be a lawyer because of my inability to pass a bar.

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More One-Liners:


It is true that you may fool all of the people some of the time; you can even fool some the people all of the time; but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.


Why name hurricanes lame names, like Sandy? Name that shit Hurricane Death Megatron 300 and I guarantee niggas be evacuating like they need to.


Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.


Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?


Pakistan army will never try to win the war against India, someone told them winner has to speak English on live television.


5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.


If another woman steals your man, there's no better revenge than to let her keep him. Real men can't be stolen.


My diet always starts on a Monday morning and ends at the donuts somebody brings into the office later that morning.


What's the difference between an aerobics instructor and a dentist? A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.


What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A Basketball player.