One-liners * 10 One-Liners

Here you will find more than 4000 One-Liners!

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it!

You're wrong! I touched second base. I missed third... but I touched second.

Man's appearance is not the most important thing. There are worse flows.

And every six months, she would trade in her aging sheep for a new one. Because without a little lamb, Mary didn't know who she was.

One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Only dead fish go with the flow.

If breaks are meant to be slow... then why do they call it "breakfast"?

If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.

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More One-Liners:


Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.


Don't worry honey, they call it my dual-channel RAM.


What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.


'When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband".'


Lets unzip our genes and see if we can share codes together.


Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.


After finishing our Chinese food, my husband and I cracked open our fortune cookies. Mine read, "Be quiet for a little while." His read, "Talk while you have a chance."


I like to show my girlfriend who's boss in our house by holding a mirror up to her face.


I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.


1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.