One-liners * 10 One-Liners

Here you will find more than 4000 One-Liners!

Is everything expensive or I'm just poor?

Olympic track makes you feel like you witnesed a crime, because you hear a gunshot and then see a bunch of black guys hauling ass.

Age is just the number of hours I'm hungover for.

Why wasnt there any blacks in the flintstones? Because they were still monkeys.

A woman is like a well-served table at which a man looks one way before he eats and differently after he ate.

I'm at my most amazing when no one is paying attention.

Yo mama is so stupid, she put cat food down her pants to feed her pussy.

This is the tenth anniversary of my comedy career. It's also the anniversary of my father begging me not to do comedy.

I never forget my son's first words... "Where the heck have you been for 16 years?"

There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

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More One-Liners:


Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said "concentrate"!


Stephen Hawking says we've got about 1,000 years to find a new place to live. That isn't even enough time for my girlfriend to pack.


Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.


What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day? You're purrr-fect for me!


What do men and mascara have in common? They both run at the first sign of emotion.


Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.


I have the woman-flu. Which is like the manflu but worse because I also regularly have periods and I get paid less.


If a woman has fallen - an idiot will walk by, a gentleman will help her to get up, but a real man will lie down with her.


Why is sex like a bridge game? You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.


How do you know that Santa is a man? No woman wears the same attire every year.