One-liners * 10 One-Liners

Here you will find more than 4000 One-Liners!

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Some people prefer their women young and tender; I prefer mine ten and younger.

Why did the octapus? Because the seaweed.

When men say "I'm fine" they actually mean it. Weirdos.

With a calendar, your days are numbered.

It's been proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop tits around the age of 13, boys around the age of 40.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

668 - The neighbour of the beast.

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More One-Liners:


Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day? Because they're always wearing green.


Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.


Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?


You're like milk, I want to make you a part of my complete breakfast.


God sees everything. Neighbors - even more... Tell me who I am and I will tell you who you are...


What underwear does clouds wear? Thunderwear!


Im not saying I'm number one, uh sorry I lied I'm number one two three four and five.


A four letter word that every man is afraid of? (More)


I love languages. The way nationalities have different takes on the same thing. Like the way an Irish person or a Scottish person would say that the band Snow Patrol are boring but an Eskimo has a hundred words for how crap Snow Patrol are.


Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone