One-liners * 10 One-Liners

Here you will find more than 4000 One-Liners!

Where were you i have been waiting for half an hour. Said No Girl Ever.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

Do you know what a Timberwolf is? No. Thats a guy that chases a girl up a tree and kisses her inbetween the limbs.

Am I getting under your skin? The only skin you'll be getting under is my ball sack.

The best way to remember your 21st birthday, is not at all. Have fun blacking out.

Is your name Summer? 'Coz you're HOT!

For every action, there is a corresponding over-reaction.

Sorry I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.

Are you from Pennsylvania cause I want to stick my pen in your sylvania

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More One-Liners:


"Because it would be hilarious," is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.


I'm as bored as a slut on her period.


Dance Dance Revolution is an intense game but an even more intense to-do list


When I said "I was afraid of the dentist", I meant the bill.


Why did God make man before woman? You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.


Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say: "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"


This may sound arrogant but I think I could make a better Periodic Table.


In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact.


I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.


People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.