One-liners * 10 One-Liners

Here you will find more than 4000 One-Liners!

Drink green beer on St Patricks Day! It counts as a vegetable!

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a nigger? Someone who is too lazy to steal.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Can a woman make you a Millionaire? Yes, if you're a Billionaire.

Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

What was the barristas favourite part about being arrested? The mug shots.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.

If I wanted to get trapped in a scary maze, I'd just go into my kid's bedroom.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

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More One-Liners:


What's the difference between purple and pink? The grip.


Did you hear about the child with AIDS? it never gets old. I own an abortion clinic called "Don't Kid Yourself"


So many boys, such little minds.


Being a lifeguard is a weird summer job for a kid. Ninety-nine percent of the time, sit and do nothing. One percent of the time, SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.


Hey baby, I heard that rabbits, can make 150 babies a year, how many do you think we can make in an hour?


The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.


The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest.


Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.


Spreading rumors? At least you're spreading something else besides your legs.


Are your other donkeys jealous because that's one fine ass



One-Liner Top 5:

Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid!

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.

When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.