Yo mama so ugly, Donald Trump tried to disconnect her from the internet!
Do you know how we can get Osama bin Laden?
Lace a bunch of Watchtower magazines with anthrax and send the Jehovah Witnesses in after him.
Those people can find anybody!
How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?
Juan by Juan!
Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers?
To keep his ankles warm!
What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?
Snow White Supremacist.
What do David Beckham and a Cartier watch have in common?
They both come in a Posh box!
Saddam's Chauffeur Saddam Hussein and his chauffeur were cruisin down the I-69 highway when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road.
It was killed instantly, so Saddam informs the driver to: 'Go to the farm over the bypass and explain to the pig's owner what happened.'
An hour later, Saddam sees his driver coming back from the farm, his clothes all wrinkled, a bottle of wine in one hand and a cigar in the other.
'What happened to you?'
'Well, the farmer gave me this bottle of wine, his wife, the cigar and their 21 year old daughter made passionate love to me.'
What did you tell them?'
asked the President.
The driver answered: 'Good afternoon, I am Saddam Hussein's chauffeur and I have just killed the pig.'
Some say George W.
Bush quit drinking because of this incident... Back in his party days, Dubya got behind the wheel after a few too many.
He started the car and stepped on the gas.
He was driving for a while, when suddenly a white ghost face appeared in the window.
George saw it and began screaming.
He stepped on the gas harder, but the face floated right in the window.
George floored it - the speedometer read 110mph but the face did not disappear.
A white hands gestured for him to roll down the window.
Not knowing what else to do, he rolled it down slowly.
The wrinkled old face smiled and said, 'Do you want help getting out of the mud?'
President Trump tweeted congratulations to the Houston Astros for winning the World Series.
Trump said he's so happy for the Astros, he's only going to deport some of the players.
What did President Clinton name his new computer business?