What do you call an abortion in Czechoslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!
When do you know when a picnic turns Gay?
When the hot dogs taste like shit!
Why is 88 better than 69?
Because you get ate twice!
How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony?
Look for sesame seed buns!
How do you tell if your boyfriend has a high sperm count?
If you have to chew before you swallow!
There are three brothers.
The first one likes to cut stuff.
The second loved to paint things green.
The third one just loved to eat pickles so much.
One day, The first dude accidentally cut his penis.
The second dude found it and painted it green and left it o the floor.
The last dude saw it and ate it.
He said it was really juicy and crunchy!
Ok there where 3 guys driving way out in the country they ran out of gas in front of this house in the middle of no where they went and knocked on there door a old ugly fat stinky lady came to the door they asked her do you have any gas she said yes but i will only give it to you if one of you fuck me well they went back to the car and they drew strals one guy got the shortist and brought the lady in the barn he said i will only fuck you if yoour blind folded and tied up so she got undressed and he tied her a to pole and blind folded her then he look around the barn and found corn on the cob and fucked the old lady then there the corn out the window when he went out side ,his friends laught at him and said well you where fucking the old lady we where down he eating cream corn.
The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.
the mother lectured him, 'that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool.'
'Oh really?' said the lifeguard, 'from the diving board!?!?'
It was Christmas evening, and little Timmy with his sisters couldn't wait the next morning, when presents are opened.
Finally mom got 'em into bed and started to arrange packets.
Next morning everyone rushed downstairs and started to open presents.
Little Timmy was confused, he didn't see any packets with his name on it, but his sisters got many.
Finally he asked from his mother, 'Why I don't have any presents?'
'Because you have cancer'
Why do the Welsh shag sheep on cliff edges?
So the sheep push back harder!