What did the leper say to the blonde hooker?
Keep the tip!
Theres a boy named Jhonne and his mom is always in the bed with kids so he asked her one day did you do it with max and she said no no way then Jhonne said are you sure because in the changeroom today his dick looked like a rainbow and you sure where alot of lipstick
A Girl gets two tattoos on her inner thighs: one of Mike Tyson on her right inner thigh and the other is of Evander Holifield on her left inner thigh.
She points to them and asks the bartender 'Does this look like Mike Tyson?'
Bartender says 'No.'
She then asks 'Does this look like Evander Holifield?'
Bartender says 'Nope sorry.'
She's says 'Well I want another opinion.'
She sees a drunk guy at the end of the bar.
She points to her inner right thigh and asks him 'Does this tattoo look like Mike Tyson?'
Drunk guy says 'No.'
She points to her inner left thigh and asks 'Well does this tattoo look like Evander Holifield?'
Drunk guy says 'No but the one in the middle looks like Don King.'
Two flies were flying around a pile of poo and the first fly started sniffing around and said, 'Ew, who farted?'
One day a man walks into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that he wanted a 100 dollar bill tattooed on his dick.
The tattoo artist told him if he could give him three reasons why he wanted the tattoo he would give it to him.
The man says, 'Well, for one, I like to play with my money, two, I like to watch it grow, and three, if my wife wants to blow 100 dollars again, she doesn't have to go to the mall!'
Why did the gynecologist go to the eye doctor?
Because things were looking a little fuzzy.
'Where did you get those zacklies?'
'Yeah, your breath smells zacklie like your butt!'
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?
See you next month.
Two tampons were crossing the street.
They see a friend.
Which one waves?
Neither, they are both stuck up cunts!
A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal.
Later, the waitress brings his meal to him.
He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger.
He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, 'Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger!
I demand to see what is going on!'
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit.
He says, 'That's disgusting!'
Then the waitress says, 'You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts.'