A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal.
Later, the waitress brings his meal to him.
He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger.
He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, 'Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger!
I demand to see what is going on!'
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit.
He says, 'That's disgusting!'
Then the waitress says, 'You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts.'
The Mens Room
In the men's bathroom, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.
The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used 20 paper towels before he finished.
He turned to the other two men and commented, 'I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean.'
The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, 'I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious.'
The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, 'I graduated from Texas Tech University and they taught us not to piss on our hands.
Why did the gynecologist go to the eye doctor?
Because things were looking a little fuzzy.
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom.
The Marine goes to leave without washing up.
The sailor catches up with him later and says, 'In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands.'
The Marine replies, 'In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!'
Johnny and Rebecca were walking down the road and when all of a sudden he sees a 20 dollar bill and tells Rebecca, 'Who's is it, mine or yours?'
So she says, 'Mine.'
Then they make a left and see a 50 dollar bill and he says to her, 'Who's it, mine or yours?'
Now they are almost at the store and there is a dick in her mouth, he says, 'Who's is it?'
Then Rebecca says, 'YOURS, YOURS, OH YOURS!'
Ther were three brothers.
One day they saw a pile of shit.
The first one said 'I think it is shit, let me smell it'
and he does.
The second one says im ging to touch it and he does.The third one says he will eat it and he does.
A guy got on a bus one day and sat in the aisle seat beside an elderly lady.
A few minutes later, he couldn't control himself and let loose a big noisy fart.
Embarrassed, he tried to make conversation with the lady and asked her 'Do you by any chance have today's paper?'
The lady looked at him and said, 'No, but the next time we pass by a tree I'll grab you a handful of leaves.'
There were three ladys,they were in the salon one of them had blonde hair,one of them had brown and one had green.
the hair dresser asked the blonde and the brown is that your natarel hair the blonde and the brown said yes when she got to the green one she said is that your natarel hair and she rubbed her nose whithe the palm of her hand a nd took it to her head and said yes
Why does Santa have huge balls?
Because he only comes once a year!
What is 68?
You do me and I owe you!