A lady shows up at her doctor's appointment.
The doctor calls her name and says, 'Will you please follow me?'
She is following him down the hallway when the doctor opens the first door.
There is a nurse in there giving a guy a hand job.
The doc says, 'Oh, sorry!'
and shuts the door.
He starts down the hall again when the lady says, 'Excuse me, I don't want to sound stupid, but what was that?'
The doctor replies, 'He has a backup problem and the nurse is just helping him out.'
The lady just shakes her head and follows the doctor.
The doc walks into the second door.
There is a nurse giving a man a blowjob.
The doc says, 'Oh sorry!'
and shuts the door.
He starts down the hall again and the lady says, 'Excuse me, I can kind of understand the first one - but what was that?'
The doc replies, 'Same problem, better insurance.'
A guy was riding down the road when he saw a pretty young lady standing with her thumb out.
The driver pulled over and offered her a ride.
She got in, and they started driving.
'My name is June Hanson,' she said.
'My name is Gene Snow,'
They rode on for a while in silence.
'Why do you keep sizing me up?'
she asked after a while.
'I was just wondering what it would be like to have eight inches of Snow in June.'
How does a woman make a man eat shit?
She wipes forward
What do you call a million Mexicans rolling down a hill.
A soldier was shot in the groin area and the nurse comes over and says drop your pants he says ur a girl im not going to drop my pants she says just do it im a nurse.
he says fine and drops his pants.she grabs his left testicale and says say 10 he says 10 she grabs his right testical she says say 10 he says 10 she strokes his penis she says say ten he says 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10
Your daddy is so nasty...the last time he got any butt was when his fingers accendently went threw the toilet paper
This guy arrives home to find his wife waiting for him by the door.
'And what time do you call this,' she starts angrily, 'You went down to the take away three hours ago, and now you stagger back here stinking of booze, with no food!'
'Look,' the guy responds calmly, 'How do you fancy a chicken vindaloo, rice, bombay potatoes, and a chapatti?'
'Oh, all right then.' his now really hungry wife agrees.
'Fine.' He says, and throws up all over her!
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it....
he was a DWARF!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before.
The first guy said, 'Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.'
The second guy said, 'Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI.'
The third guy says, 'Man that was nothing.
I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.'
Then the first guy said, 'No -- you guys don't understand!
Chunks is my dog!'
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.
The other missionary couldn't believe it!
He said, 'What's wrong with you?
We're being boiled alive!
They're gonna eat us!
What could possibly be funny at a time like this?'
The other missionary replied, 'I just peed in the soup!'