This Old man decided to go to a whore house one night.
When he arrived he went to the owner and he said, 'Listen, I want a girl with Gonorrhea!'
The owner nodded and sent him upstairs to a room.
Then she called one of her favorites for him.
The girl went into the room and started to undress for him.
He quickly asked, 'Do you have Gonorrhea?'
I certainly do not!'
The Old man sent her back and requested a girl with Gonorrhea.
The owner called over one girl and told her to say she had to just to make him happy.
So the girl went up to the room and the old man asked, 'Do you have Gonorrhea?'
She smiled and said, 'Of course I do.'
They got into bed and begun to fuck away.
It lasted 10 minutes then she said, 'Listen Old man, I have a confession to make, I don't have Gonorrhea.'
The Old man smiled and replied, 'Now you do!'
What do you call a million Mexicans rolling down a hill.
What do Micheal Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Both are made of plastic and both get turned on by kids!
How does a woman make a man eat shit?
She wipes forward
Your daddy is so nasty...the last time he got any butt was when his fingers accendently went threw the toilet paper
This guy arrives home to find his wife waiting for him by the door.
'And what time do you call this,' she starts angrily, 'You went down to the take away three hours ago, and now you stagger back here stinking of booze, with no food!'
'Look,' the guy responds calmly, 'How do you fancy a chicken vindaloo, rice, bombay potatoes, and a chapatti?'
'Oh, all right then.' his now really hungry wife agrees.
'Fine.' He says, and throws up all over her!
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it....
he was a DWARF!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before.
The first guy said, 'Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.'
The second guy said, 'Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI.'
The third guy says, 'Man that was nothing.
I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.'
Then the first guy said, 'No -- you guys don't understand!
Chunks is my dog!'
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.
The other missionary couldn't believe it!
He said, 'What's wrong with you?
We're being boiled alive!
They're gonna eat us!
What could possibly be funny at a time like this?'
The other missionary replied, 'I just peed in the soup!'
A guy was riding down the road when he saw a pretty young lady standing with her thumb out.
The driver pulled over and offered her a ride.
She got in, and they started driving.
'My name is June Hanson,' she said.
'My name is Gene Snow,'
They rode on for a while in silence.
'Why do you keep sizing me up?'
she asked after a while.
'I was just wondering what it would be like to have eight inches of Snow in June.'