My four year old and I were discussing holidays, and I asked him, 'What is the day which comes after Halloween when you have turkey?'
My husband quickly answered, 'Election day.'
There once was a man with a bald head and a pegleg who was in need of a kickin' Halloween costume.
So he wrote to a costume company, who promptly sent him a bandana and a hook so he could be a pirate.
Outraged that they were making fun of his pegleg, he fired off a complaint letter.
In order to please him, the costume company sent him a monk's costume saying that it would be perfect for his bald head.
Now outraged that they were making fun of his bald head, the man sent another angry letter.
Soon after, another package arrived in the mail - a package of caramel.
Attached was a note: 'Stick the pegleg up your ass, dip your head in caramel, and go as a caramel apple.'
One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blond curly hair and the biggest blue eyes.
She was dressed as an Angel, and was just delightful.
The woman said, 'what are you supposed to say sweetheart?'
The little girl looks up at the woman and says 'Twick or Tweat!'
The woman thinks this is just adorable, and she calls her husband to come to the door.
The woman say to the child, 'Go ahead honey say it just one more time.'
Once again the little Angel looks up and says, 'Twick or Tweat!'
The husband agrees with his wife, this little Angel is just the cutest thing.
The woman picks an apple from the Treat Bowl, shines it up with her apron, and drops it into the little girl's Treat Bag.
The little Angel looks in her bag then looks up at the woman and says, 'Thanks a lot lady, you just broke my f**king cookies!
Top 10 Least Popular Halloween Handouts
Spinach flavored Rice Cakes.
Teeth removing Taffy
Metamucil in a straw
Caramel Covered Zucchini
Colored Crisco on a Stick
Hot steaming bowl of pumpkin guts
Chocolate Covered Prunes
A Handful of Red Man
Anything that ticks!