Relationship Jokes
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Relationship Jokes

This page contains 10 Relationship Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Relationship Jokes first.

Did you hear about the guy who found out the secret to making women happy?
No, neither did I.Q.


An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said, 'I enjoyed time with my wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.'
The artist said, 'I enjoyed time with my mistress, because of the passion and mystery I found there.'
The engineer said, 'I like both.'
'Both?'
they questioned.
The Engineer said, 'Yeah.
If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.'


They've started Again ooo!
Why would a girl that claims to love you, send u :::: boxers and expect a BB ?
:::A tie and expect Brazillian hair?
Singlet and expect iPAD2 ::: cuff-links and expect Blackberry porsche ::::nothing at all and expect an expensive dinner @ KFC, Pay her school fees and she is on her period three times a month yet we preach gender equality....
NO!
As a result of d observable injustice and inequlity.
The Boyfriends Association of Nigeria (BAN) in its 17th annual general meeting held yesterday at d Federal secretariat Abuja, has concluded, dat it should be on (TB) trade by barter this Feb 14th coming in d next 16 days simply: A singlet for bra.
A boxers for a pant.
A roll on' for a Sure Pef.
Cuff-links for a rubber band to tie her natural hair.
If she shows up at ur door empty handed,off ur cable,put NTA for her to watch.
If she gives u flower,u give her mango leaf,after all,d two are gotten from trees..
If she comes for a dinner without money, take her to night vigil.


Did you hear about the guy who found out the secret to making women happy?
No, neither did I!


Deep Thoughts on the Farm
At my cousin's wedding, my dad (who doesn't much care for his nephew's bride) thought it would be funny to flick his cigarette at her back as she walked down the aisle.
It got caught in her hair and started to smolder.
Her father had to get it out while she cried hysterically.
Then he punched my Uncle Raymond, whom he thought had tossed it, right square in the forehead and ended up breaking his own hand.
Good wedding.


A man and his girlfriend were enjoying a ride late one stormy night in the country.
As they were driving down a dirt road, the truck got stuck in the mud.
The guy hops out to look and comes back and says to his girlfriend, 'I need you to take off your clothes so I can put them under the tires from traction.'
She does and after awhile of trying he says, 'Okay, we're stuck.
Go down to that farm and see if someone has a phone.'
She says, 'But I'm naked!'
He looks at her and says, 'Well, tie my boots around your hips to cover up with and just use your hands to cover your chest with.'
She makes it down the the farm and bangs on the door.
The farmer walks out and she yells, 'Help, my boyfriend is stuck and can't get out!'
He looks at the boots and says, 'Honey, he's too far in to come out!'


A husband said to his wife, 'I will take a photo of your breasts and frame it .'
The wife said to her husband, 'I will take a photo of your penis and enlarge it.'


The other day, i was invited to a 'boys night out'
party.
Before i left, my wife asked what time i would be in, so i said before midnight.
Anyway, at the party, the beer went down far too easily.
I looked at my watch and discovered it was nearing 3am.
Anway, the next thing i knew i was staggering home.
As i got in, the cuckoo clock cuckooed 3 times.
I knew that the noise would wake up my wife, so i cuckooed 9 more times.
Impressed with my quick thinking, i found my up the stairs and flopped into bed.
The next morning my wife asked me what time i got in.
I told her 12am.
She didnt look bothered.
Then she said, 'we need a new a new cuckoo clock.'
When i asked her why, she said, 'last night it cuckooed 3 times, paused, cuckooed 4 times more, cleared its throat, cuckooed twice more, giggled, cuckooed 3 more times, then tripped over the cat and farted!'


A couple had been debating over buying a new car for weeks now.
He wanted a new truck, she wanted a fast little sports car so that she could zip through traffic around town.
He would've probable have settled for a beat up old truck.
But all she seemed to like were way out of their price range.
'Look, I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less' she said.
'Well, its my birthday coming up, so you can surprise me' she said.
So for her birthday, he got her a brand new bathroom scale!


When the bride and the groom are getting married the bride is thinking: 'This is the most romantic day of my life'
And the groom is thinking: 'I hope I get a shag for this later'


 



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