Celebrity Jokes
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Celebrity Jokes

This page contains 10 Celebrity Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Celebrity Jokes first.

What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit was The Wall.

At a recent computer expo (1996 COMDEX), Bill Gates compared the computer industry to the automotive indusrty by stating: 'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving cars that cost $25.00 and get 1,00 miles to the gallon.'
In response to Bills comment, General Motors issued A press release making the following statement: 'If we (GM) had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1) for no reson whatsoever, your car would crash twice per day.
2) Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3) Your car would occasionally stop on the freeway without reason.
In order to get started again, you would have to pull off to the side of the road, close all the windowsshut off the car resart it and open all the windows again.
For some unknown reason, you would simply do this without question.
4) Occasionally, executing a maneuver, such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to resart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person could use the car at one time unless you bought 'Car95'
or 'CarNT', but then you would also have to buy more seats.
6) The new seats you would need would force everyone to have the same size butt.
7) You would press the 'start'
button to shut off the engine.
8) The oil warning light, water warning light, and alternator warning light would all be replaced by a single 'Unidentified System Error'
light.
9) The air bag would ask ur freshly mangled body 'are you sure'
before going off.
10) Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you back inuntill you simultaneously lifted the driver side door handle, turned the key, and grabbed the radio antenna.
11) The radio antenna would be internally mounted on the passenger side of the car.
12) buying a new car would force you to also purchase a new set of Deluxe Rand McNally road maps, dispite the fact that you niether need nor want them.
Attempting to delet this otion would immediately cause your cars performance to diminish by 50% or more.
13) every time GM introduced a new car, people would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the old controls would function in the new car.
14) Macintosh would make a car that was five times faster, ten times more reliable and easier to mantain, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.'

Trump: 'Foreign Policy?
If you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee!'

What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?
He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.

How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?
Juan by Juan!

What do you call the Michael Moore film about Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and Joe Arpaio?
Three Ami-egos.

What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?
Snow White Supremacist.

What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?
'A complex world demands complex hair.'

Can I tell you a joke about the wall?
Never mind you won't get over it.

Donald Trump loves the 'poorly educated'
so much, that when he's president there will be more of them than ever.




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