5/4 of people admit that they're bad with fractions.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It's a little fishy.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
People don't like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
Cashier: 'Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?'
Dad: 'No, just leave it in the carton!'