Dirty Jokes
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Dirty Jokes

This page contains 10 Dirty Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dirty Jokes first.

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A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized there was no toilet paper.
There was a hole in the wall and a sign above it that read: 'When you go to the bathroom, wipe yourself with your index finger, stick it through this hole and it will be thoroughly cleaned.'
The man did exactly what the sign said, but when he stuck his finger through the hole, someone at the other side slapped two bricks together against his finger and because of the pain he stuck his finger in his mouth and started to suck on it.

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.
One old lady turns to the other and asks, 'Do you still get horny?' The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'
The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'
The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'

What did the thirsty whale do?
Bit the tail of a submarine and sucked out all the seamen.

While setting at my computer a commercial came on about a feminine product.
The lady said if I have a feminine itch with an odor what do I do?
I said to my wife, what did she do scratch and sniff?

A Canadian was in France, out of his wallet he removed a stick of gum he had from the airport in Canada, and started to chew it.
He walked into a French coffee shop and sat himself beside an English speaking French man.
Frenchman: In Canada, what do you do with your used tires?
Canadian: We send em to France to get turned into paper plates.
French man: What do you do with your used plastic bags?
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) We send em to France to get turned into a gold ring.
Hey, what do you do with your used comdoms?
French man: we send em to Canada to get turned into bubble gum.

A frat boy gets into the back of a cab, and asks the cabbie, 'Do you have enough room up there for a pizza and a six pack of beer?'
The cabbie says, 'Sure.'
So the frat boy leans forward and throws-up.

When do you know when a picnic turns Gay?
When the hot dogs taste like shit!

These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night before.
The first guy said, 'Man I was so drunk last night I went home and blew chunks.'
The second guy said, 'Man that was nothing I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I got my DWI.'
The third guy says, 'Man that was nothing.
I was so drunk last night I was driving home and I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed.'
Then the first guy said, 'No -- you guys don't understand!
Chunks is my dog!'

What do you see when you have a vagina stapled to you fore head?
My balls slapping you in the face.

A woman walks in to a tattoo parlor and says: 'I want a turkey on my right hip.'
So the guy says, 'Ok.'
Does it and then she leaves.
A couple of weeks later she comes back and says: 'I want Santa Clause on my left hip.'
And the man says, 'Ok.'
Does it, while she was getting her money out, he says, 'Can I ask you why you are doing this?'
And she says, 'So my husband will have something to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas!'




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