Dumb Blonde Jokes
This page contains 10 Dumb Blonde Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Dumb Blonde Jokes first.A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.
The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.
The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, 'meow', the cop says, 'oh, its only a cat'
He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, 'woof, woof'.
The cop says, 'its only a dog'.
He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, 'potato'
Why are Blonde Jokes one-liners?
So brunettes can understand them!
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down!
A bernet and an a awesome blonde are in a fight of words.
The blonde says something smart and the bernet says somehting stupid.
Blondes rule.
- A blonde oviously wrote that joke.
What is Easter?
Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven.
St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question.
The question posed by St. Peter is 'What is Easter?'
The first blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy!
It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey and are thankful...'
'Wrong!, you are not welcome here, I'm afraid.
You must go to the other place!'
replies St. Peter.
He turns to the second blonde, and asks her the same question: 'What is Easter?'
The second blonde replies, 'Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.'
St. Peter looks at the second blonde, bangs his head on the on the pearly gates in disgust and tells her she's wrong and will have to join her friend in the other place.
She is not welcome in Heaven.
He then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, 'Do YOU know what Easter is'?
The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, 'I know what Easter is.'
'Oh?' says St. Peter, incredulously.
'Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover.
Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples.
The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands and feet.
He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder.'
St. Peter smiled broadly with delight.
The third blonde continued...
'Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.'
Two blondes meet in Heaven.
'How did you die?'
the first one asks.
'Oh!
I died in a freezer', the second blonde replied.
'So how did you die?'
the second blonde asks.
'Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked.
When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck.
I never got to find that woman', replied the first blonde.
The second blonde then says, 'If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!'
Why is an upside-down blonde so funny?
Because she is a crack up!
What do you call a bunch of blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes.
One day this blonde walks into the shoe star in Australia and asks the clerk 'Where are your alligator shoes'
The clerk says 'Sorry, we dont carry any shoes of that kind'
The blonde responds 'Thanks, ill go look elsewhere'
After hopping in the cab, she reached another Store deeper into town.
The blonde asks another clerk 'Where are your alligator shoes'
The clerk responds 'haha, sorry rose darling, to find them here in such a place you will have to go get the alligator your self'
Later that day, the polic heard gunshots and complaints about a woman.
Police respond and see the lady in the water with lines of dead alligators.
What are you doing?
the police asked.
The blonde responds, im looking for alligator shoes, but none of them have shoes on.
A blond and a brunette jump off the Empire State Building.
It takes the blonde 3 minutes longer to hit the ground than it does or the brunette.
Why?
She had to stop to ask for directions.
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