Jokes For Kids
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Jokes For Kids

This page contains 10 Jokes For Kids. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Jokes For Kids first.

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind.
The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, 'Ketchup!'


Once there was a little boy in church.
He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, 'Mommy, I have to piss.'
The mother said, 'Son don't say piss in church.
Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite.
The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom.
He told his father, 'Daddy I have to whisper.'
The father said, 'OK.
Here, whisper in my ear.'


Agony: A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.


What do you say to a football player in an Armani suit?
'Will the defendant please rise...'


My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already.


HEADLINE: A hole has appeared in the ladies changing rooms at the sports club.
Police are looking into it!


The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight.
As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.
'Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona.
It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction.
The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep.'
From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, 'Wow!
It just missed the highway!'


If I wanted to hear from an asshole I would fart.


A cop pulls over a guy.
'Your eyes are awfully red.
Have you been drinking?'
'Gee, officer,'
the man says.
'Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?'


There is 3 Men;
One From Ireland... One From America... And One From Australia.
One Day They come upon a Wizard Who Was Standing on a Bridge.
The Wizard Said When You Jump Off Scream what you want and you will land in it.
So The Three Men Go Up onto the Bridge... The One from Ireland Says 'I Want Myself A Pot o Gold'... He Landed in a giant pot of gold.
The Man From America Yells 'I Want Thousands Of Wives... He Landed In A Pool Of Wives... The Ma From Australia Sliped And Went '
Oh Shit'....


 



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