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Lawyers Jokes

This page contains 10 Lawyers Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Lawyers Jokes first.

What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving?
A perfect setup for skeet shooting!

Good Bad

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
About three pounds, including the urn.

Good Bad

What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being!

Good Bad

Terrorists hijack a plane full of lawyers.
They ask for a ransom 20 million dollars, and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for...

Good Bad

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four, one to climb the ladder, one to hold the ladder, one to shake the ladder and one to sue the ladder company!

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Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
He was looking for loopholes!

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How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them!

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Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps?
Because people could not tell which side to spit on!

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What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being!

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Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste dumps and California has all the lawyers?
Because New Jersey got first pick!

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