Home / Funny jokes / Lawyers Jokes

Lawyers Jokes

This page contains 10 Lawyers Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Lawyers Jokes first.

Thank You!

What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!

Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a lion and a lawyer.
You have a gun with just two bullets in it.
What do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice to make sure he's dead.

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
If one side has one, the other side has to get one.
Once launched, they cannot be recalled.
When they land, they screw up everything forever.

What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
Your honor!

What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats?
A total waste of space!

What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being!

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, 'All lawyers are assholes!'
He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge.
Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, 'Take that back.'
The biker says, 'Why? Are you a lawyer?'
'No, I'm an asshole.'

What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats?
A total waste of space!

What is the differece between a lawyer and a protitute?
The Prostitute will stop screwing you after your dead.

What is the definition 'lucky break?'
When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
What is the definition of a 'crying shame'?
There was an empty seat.

Next jokes

(1) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Categories:
Animal Bad Bar Dumb Blonde Celebrity Cheesy Chicken Christmas Chuck Norris Clean Computer Corny Dad Dark Humor Doctor Dirty Donald Trump Easter Fat For Kids Funny Riddles Funny Quotes Little Johnny Gay Gender Good Halloween Knock Knock Lawyer Lightbulb Jokes Military Old People One Liner Jokes Ponderisms Puns Redneck Relationship Religious School Short Jokes Silly Skeleton Valentines Day Yo Mama