I'm at the age where I can't take anything with a grain of salt.
It's been proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop tits around the age of 13, boys around the age of 40.
What do you have when you have two balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention!
Such a little man, such a drama queen.
Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.
The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
I like Jesus but he loves me, so it's awkward.
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicap zone.
Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!