Silly Jokes
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Silly Jokes

This page contains 10 Silly Jokes. The jokes are in order of votes, the best Silly Jokes first.

There is an English man Irish man and Scottish man. The irish man is dumb they all find a magic slide. English man goes down 1st says, 'I wish for a pot of gold. '
He lands in a pot of gold.
Scottish man goes down and says, 'I wish for a pot of silver'. He lands in a pot of silver. Irish man goes down and says, 'wee weee'.

A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down.
As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her.
She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts 'Stop that!'
To which the waiter replies, 'Sure, which way did it go?'

WIFE: 'There's trouble with the car.
It has water in the carburettor.'
HUSBAND: 'Water in the carburettor?
That's ridiculous.'
WIFE: 'I tell you the car has water in the carburettor.'
HUSBAND: 'You don't even know what a carburettor is.
I'll check it out.
Where's the car?'
WIFE: 'In the pool.'

A man is talking to another man and says 'i got laid, lickin my wifes tits', the other man says 'man, i would be ashamed if it were my mom!'.
the cow next to them frowned.

One day three sotho children came to Johannesburg wanting to learn english.
They find a school an one went to sit in the back of the class and heard the teacher say, 'who read our first paragraph' and three shouted we three! Then that sotho child ran out to tell the freinds. Then the second one went in and heard the teacher say, 'for the sake of money?' aand ran out and told the feinds,the third was jelous so then went in and hard the teacher say the sooner the better!.
along the way home hey saw a dead man on the roadside and a police man came running and said who killed this man?
non of them knew what he was talking about so the first one said we three the police man was shocked and said why?
the second one said for the sake of money then the police-man said to them i better lock you up in jail and at last the third one said the sooer the better and the police threw them in jail.

The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.
Someone dialed 911.
When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.
'It was enough to make anybody faint,' he said.
'My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower.'

Paddy English man, Paddy Irish man and Paddy Scottish man were all sitting down for lunch after a hard hour of work.
They all took out there lunches and screamed.
Paddy English man said 'If my wife gives me ham sandwiches again, I'm gona kill myself'.
And so did Paddy Scottish man and Paddy Irish man.
The next day it came to lunch time and three bodies were found at the site.
The three Paddies wives were called in and had the situation explained to them.
Paddy English mans wife said 'If he had only told me, i would have changed the sandwich!'.
Paddy Scottish's wife said the same, but Paddy Irish mans wife said 'I don't know what the problem was, he made his own sandwiches!'

A lady decides to make 2 muffins...she makes the batter and then puts them in the oven...it starts to heat up and one muffin says 'wow its getting hot in here'...and the other muffin screams 'ahhhhh its a talking muffin'

There were three kids and when they where two one asked her mom '
why did u call me Rose '
her mom said '
because when you where small a rose fell on your head '
then the second kid said '
mom why did u call me Lilly '
and her mom said,'
because when you where small a lilly fell on your head.'
ayoyauo.'
'
shut up Fridge.'
:p hehehehe

Home Remedies 1.
If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto!
The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2.
Clumsy?
Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs.
about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4.
High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7.
Have a bad toothache?
Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
8.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
9.
AND.....
Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.
If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
10.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations!
You have another chance!
11.
And finally...
Be really good to your family and friends.
You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.




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