How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men (Or Army Men)
He does not have a beer gut... He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.(regular guys) He has a personal war reserve stock. (army guys)
He is not quiet... He is a Conversational Minimalist.
He is a SAMS grad.
He is not stupid... He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.
He is a field grade.
He does not get lost all the time... He discovers Alternative Destinations.
He gets temporarily misoriented.
He is not balding... He is in Follicle Regression.
He has a REALLY squared away high and tight.
He is not a cradle robber... He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
He is breaking the new fraternization policies.
He does not get falling-down drunk... He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
He practices his IMTs in the club.
He is not short... He is Anatomically Compact.
He suffers from a Napoleon Complex.
He does not have a rich daddy... He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.
He has the Army as a hobby.
He does not constantly talk about cars... He has a Vehicular Addiction.
He must be a Transporter.
He does not have a hot body... He is Physically Combustible.
He is a PT stud.
He is not unsophisticated... He is Socially Challenged.
He is a Ranger.
He does not eat like a pig... He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.
He eats like a Ranger student at Pizza Hut.
He is not a bad dancer... He is Overly Caucasian.
He is from the Muddy Boots Army.
He does not hog the blankets... He is Thermally Unappreciative.
He is a Blue Falcon.
He is not a male chauvinist pig... He has Swine Empathy.
He must be combat arms.
He is not afraid of commitment... He is Monogamously Challenged.
He loves TDY.
Next Joke: The unit engineer had just finished a talk on introducing mechanization in fatigue details