How To Beat A Speeding Ticket.
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one.
It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car.
I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right.
But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir.
That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure.
Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer.
Here's the registration.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk?
I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened;
no body.
Captain: I don't understand it.
The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b.
told you I was speeding, too!
Next Joke: An old man was laying on his death bed